Heaven Needed Him More

Today is the birthday of my dear friend, Aaron Williams. He would be 39. However, God chose to take him away from us 5 1/2 years ago. He was a Marine. And the most awesome, Marine in the world. Ah, how I miss him. God chose to take him Home, not through war, but through a brain tumor, giving us time to say "good-bye." The six months that the doctor gave him stretched into three years, and for those three years we watched as Aaron struggled through multiple surgeries, chemo, alternative medicine, and finally he came home to die. We knew that each moment could be our last with him, and so we cherished each day and memory. I will never forget holding his hand the night before he went to Heaven. Standing at his beside, tears rolling down my cheeks as I told him how much I loved him and how he would always be my favorite jar head. I realized that would probably be the last time I would see him alive on this earth, it was.

Dealing with the death of a loved one is hard. It's been 5 1/2 years and I still remember his birthday, and wish I could call him up just to say hello. He was one of the finest men God ever made, and his memory lives on in the hearts of those who were privileged to know and love Aaron. Heaven needed a hero so God took ours, leaving us behind to mourn our loss. However, we know that our parting is but for a moment, and soon, we will see him again in Heaven.

As the Deer

As the deer panteth for the water

So my soul longeth after Thee,

You alone are my heart's desire

And I long to worship Thee.

Chorus:

You alone are my strength and shield,

To You alone may my spirit yield,

You alone are my heart's desire

And I long to worship Thee.

You're my friend and You are my brother,

Even though You are the King,

I love You more than any other

So much more than anything.

I want You more than gold or silver,

Only You can satisfy,

You alone are the real joy giver

And the apple of my eye.

Thankful for...

I had a long thanksgiving post mostly written and was going to finish it tonight, but I deleted it. This year I can say I am most thankful for pain and heartache. Yeah, I know, that's not "normal" but it's true. The pain, heartache, loss, struggles, decisions, tears, sleepless nights, all of it, I am thankful. Why? Because through it all I learned that God truly gives a song in the night. He gives peace, love, guidance, direction, mercy, grace, strength, healing, comfort, protection, and on the list could go. He is almighty, unchangeable, God. In His loving plan He brought the hard times to my life to grow, stretch and strengthen me. His blessings do often "come through raindrops."

Closed Door

"When one door closes another door opens;

but we so often look so long and so regretfully at the closed door

that we do not see the ones which open for us."

~~*Alexander Graham Bell*~~

Mourdock Monday!

Once again, it's my favorite day of the week, MOURDOCK MONDAY! Check out his ad that came out recently!

Do not be Afraid of Their Faces

To say that what I believe isn't always popular is an understatement. And the last day or two have been difficult in that people want to crush what I believe and make me believe the way they do. I don't like that. Some have called me young and naive (I call them old and dumb, just I'm polite and don't say it to their face like they do to me). Unlike them, I have a fresh perspective on life. I'm not afraid to take a risk. I'll stick my neck out to go with the unpopular vote over the popular vote any day. Besides, their generation taught me that what is popular isn't always right, yet instead of practicing what they preach, they jump on me for following orders. (Yes, I am ranting, but I promise it's not going to last too long). If you haven't guessed, it has to do with politics (something I love and hate at the same time).

So needless to say, I've been struggling. Big. Time. This morning God reminded me that my hope is in Him, not in an earthly cause or person. "Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God." (Psalm 43:5 NKJV) Ah, what sweet comfort. He saved me from a pit of despair, why do I keep going back into it willingly? Silly me. But still, frustration held on to me just a tiny bit. Fact: I am young. Fact: I don't have a lot of experience. So who am I to go against these people who supposedly know a lot more than me. But God, in His loving way once again led me to a beautiful passage in Jeremiah. The great prophet is at this time young, and like me, feels inadequate. Listen to the exchange:

God: Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you; before you were born I sanctified you; I ordained you a prophet to the nations.

Jeremiah (I can imaging he's trembling a little bit and says in a shaky voice): "Ah, Lord God! Behold, I cannot speak, for I am a youth!"

There! He said it! He can't do it! Duh! He's too young! C'mon God! What are You thinking? 

But alas, God replies: Do not say, 'I am a youth,' for you shall go to all to whom I send you, and whatever I command you, you shall speak. Do not be afraid of their faces, for I am with you to deliver you.

Well, who can argue with that? Not Jeremiah, and definitely not me. God's calling isn't always easy, but He gives us what we need. He is with us and will deliver us.

Veterans Day

Thank you to the men and women who have served and are serving our country!