What am I Looking for in a Wife

By A Young Man

WHAT AM I LOOKING FOR IN A WIFE? I want a girl who's interested in friendship first. I've run into three types of girls over the years - two of them make me chuckle, but with a hint of sorrow inside. The third class I've observed always makes me stop and think. And smile.

JUST SAY HI BUT DON'T BE FEROCIOUS There are two types of young ladies, one at either end of the "girl spectrum." The first is most prevalent in ultra conservative, homeschool settings. She ignores the existence of the guys around her, believing the lie that any interaction with a guy is either sinful or premature romantic involvement. That's just wrong - God created both genders to edify and challenge each other!

I would say to that girl, just get over yourself, and say hi!

Then there's the other extreme, the "ferocious females." Now, I have to say that I appreciate energetic, engaging girls. What concerns me, however, is that with some of these young ladies, they display a sense of discontent with their singleness. "Need" is not attractive in a girl. When a girl already has an interesting life, she then has something to bring to the marriage.

LOOKING FOR SARAH This brings us to the type of girl that is very appealing and attractive. I like it when a young lady I meet takes the time to both talk and listen, especially when God has given us similar passions in life. And I believe that mutual passion that has the power to keep us together for a lifetime. At least, I think so. Remember, I am still single.

Beyond that, my attention is always piqued when a girl is walking in the freedom of Christ. The most attractive women I've met are those who are satisfied where they are, yet are open for more of what God has for them. This is a freedom only God can give. But I'm looking for one more thing: confidence. A girl who has placed her confidence in Christ, who isn't "afraid with any amazement" (I Peter 3:6) but resembles Sarah - that's a girl who will make any guy turn his head. Including this one.

My happily married brother has wisely told me, "Find a girl who is willing to follow. But you must be willing to give up as much as you've asked her to give up." That's what Sarah and Abraham did. They followed God even when they didn't understand what He wanted. Sarah trusted God despite Abraham's deficiencies. Sarah wasn't afraid. She was confident in God. Yeah, I'm keeping my eye out for Sarah.

What I Want in a Guy!

By a Young Woman

I am a 22-year-old girl who has met and seen my fair share of couples. I've traveled a good bit and lived with/helped out different families doing mission work. These experiences have helped me figure out who I am today, and have been instrumental in showing me what I need in a husband.

When I was 17, my cousins and friends, who are a few years older than I, all stated getting married. So I naturally thought, "Well, I guess I should get married, too, because it seems to be the next step in life." But the guy I would have married then and the guy I would marry now are two completely different types of men. I didn't even know myself yet, much less what I should look for in a man.

I think, as homeschoolers, we are raised with the idea that marriage is the next important step in the school of life. I believe that attitude limits a person. I want to do something significant with my life, including learning all I have a capacity to comprehend, all for the purpose of making an eternal difference. I encourage girls to think: What are your dreams, what do you want to do, what do you want to know? Get out and do something, whether it's starting a business, (which could include homemaking skills) or buying a piece of land. Go help out a missionary for six months. It will give you a whole new outlook on life and an appreciation for missionaries! It will grow you, give you more confidence, and help you figure out what you need in a husband. Every man is attracted to a woman who's busy with abundant life, someone who is on the front side of making things happen.

Years ago I was chatting with a married couple who are good friends of mine, and who know me well they helped me figure out what I personally needed in a man. I wrote a list that day of five things I most need in a man!

1. I know that I need a Strong Leader who's not going to let me shove him around. I want someone who is going to stand up and be the man!
2. Yet I need someone who is Open-minded, who will listen to all my crazy theories about life!
3. He needs to be Passionate, so that whatever he does, he does it with a fire under his boots!
4. I want him to be Spontaneous, full of zeal about life, and not afraid to jump into an adventure. I am a very enthusiastic person, and I love to do things on the spur of the moment. I want to marry someone I can jump on board with!
5. And I must have a man who Loves and Honors God and is already actively serving the Lord and has a deep-seated vision for life.

2-Part Series

I was going through my desk a few days ago and I stumbled across a magazine from No Greater Joy that my mom had given to me this summer. In it were two short articles, one by a young man, and the other by a young woman. I reread them and was very impressed, so I thought that I would share them with all of you. These are taken from the July-August 2009 issue.
I will say that I don't always agree with NGJ, but a lot of what they have to say is pretty good.