Absolute Surrender

Well, I've been having a hard time writing this blog, because I haven't been exactly sure how to write it, so I'm just going to write it as it is.

Sometime around the end of April or beginning of May a friend of mine, known as "Rosebud" started telling me about this guy that she thought would be a great match for me. I was like, "Whatever!" Well, she was quite persistent about it, and finally on June 16 I gave in and typed him and email, hoping that would get her off my back. I never expected anything back from Jason. However, that was not meant to be. The next day I got an email back and I replied and thus was the beginning of a very good friendship.

Jason is in the Navy and currently stationed in Japan. At one point he told me that he had really been struggling with loneliness. Being a Christian in the Navy isn't very easy and to add to that the fact that he is thousands of miles from home doesn't make it any easier. Finally he had surrendered his loneliness to the Lord, and accepted the fact that God was trying to teach him a lesson. Soon after that took place he received the first email from me!!

As our friendship continued I began to develop some feelings beyond friendship for Jason. However, I didn't think that the feelings were returned. I was really struggling with this, because I knew that God wanted me to give my feelings to Him, but I was afraid to do that. One Sunday in jail Peggy and I sang "I Surrender All." We sang the first verse and then 2 verses that Peggy had written, they are as follows:

All my plans and destinations,

All the stuff I think I need,

All the hurts I've done to others,

Take them Jesus, take them please.

All my time and all my money,

All my rights I fight to keep,

All my health and friends and loved ones,

Take them Jesus, take them please.

As we were singing the last verse, especially the last 2 lines I broke down and began to cry. Many people assumed it was because of some of the health issues that I've had and am having. Little did anyone realize that I was really struggling with giving up Jason. The following day I spent a lot of time in the car working and getting a new cello bow, etc. During those hours in the car I battled with God BIG time, I spent hours talking to Him, giving all sorts of reasons why I couldn't give him up. Finally I gave up and surrendered all that I was desiring to God. The amazing thing, a week later Jason sent my parents and email asking if it was ok for us to continue our relationship. They said "Yes!"

It's amazing how God has continued to work. My parents have been getting to know Jason, and I have talked to his family. So far everyone who is involved is very happy. Jason is coming home on leave in December and will be spending some time here in Warsaw.

I am asking for your prayers as we continue this relationship, that we will listen and obey our authority and that we will continue to keep our eyes on God.