A Legacy

Friday was the funeral for my 22 year old cousin, Zac. God chose to take him suddenly from this earth to his eternal home in heaven. No one had a chance to say good-bye, he was given no chance to make anything right, God just took him. Yet for one so young, Zac left behind a legacy that screamed of glorifying and loving God. He walked with God and he lived his life with a seriousness that is astounding. God was the center of his life. He lived and died for His glory. Everything everyone said about Zac showed his deep love for God and the people around him. The lives he touched, the people he influenced, the difference he made, all of it is amazing.

For the past week as we dealt with the shock, grief, funeral, all of it, my thoughts keeps running to the fact that Zac was only just over a year older than me. I can't tell you how much I have wept, not at the thought of his death, but at the thought of how imminent my death could be. It's so easy to think, "Eh, I'm only 21, nothing is going to happen, I have my entire life in front of me." But that is so not true. Only God knows the length of my days. It's easy to take life for granted...to assume that I'm going to live until I'm 90, it's easy to blow each day focused on the things of this world and not taking much time to focus on God and the real meaning of life -- glorifying Him. I am ashamed at how much time I spend doing what I want rather than doing what God wants me to do.

I can't get over how fast a life can be snuffed out. It a matter of mere seconds someone can go from alive and perfectly well right into eternity. (I know this is nothing new, just a new reality for me.) Life really is just a vapor, here and then gone. Sometimes that vapor lasts slightly longer than others, but still, it goes by quickly and just as quickly it disappears. What is more important, doing what I want or doing something that matters for God? Which matters more, fame and fortune or the lives of others? God calls each Christian to make an influence on the lost around us, to bring them to Him.

If I were to die tomorrow what would people say at my funeral? What would be my legacy? Would they talk about how much I loved God and wanted to serve Him? Or would they talk about what I had wanted to do? Would they say my life glorified God or would they say it glorified me?

Christmas In Heaven

This year I have many loved ones who are for the first time experiencing Christmas in Heaven. 

I miss them so much, but am thankful that they are in God's very presence...they are truly blessed.

Healing Rain

Healing rain is coming down 

It's coming nearer to this old town 

Rich and poor, weak and strong 

It's bringing mercy, it won't be long

Healing rain is coming down 

It's coming closer to the lost and found 

Tears of joy, and tears of shame 

Are washed forever in Jesus' name

Healing rain, it comes with fire 

So let it fall and take us higher 

Healing rain, I'm not afraid 

To be washed in Heaven's rain

Lift your heads, let us return 

To the mercy seat where time began 

And in your eyes, I see the pain 

Come soak this dry heart with healing rain

And only You, the Son of man 

Can take a leper and let him stand 

So lift your hands, they can be held 

By someone greater, the great I Am

Healing rain, it comes with fire 

So let it fall and take us higher 

Healing rain, I'm not afraid 

To be washed in Heaven's rain

To be washed in Heaven's rain...

Healing rain is falling down 

Healing rain is falling down 

I'm not afraid 

I'm not afraid...

Father, Lead Me

Father, lead me day by day,

Ever in Thine own sweet way;

Teach me to be pure and true;

Show me what I ought to do.

When in danger, make me brave,

Make me know that Thou canst save;

Keep me safely by Thy dear side;

Let me in Thy love abide.

When I'm tempted to do wrong,

Make me steadfast, wise and strong;

And when all alone I stand,

Shield me with Thy mighty hand.

When my heart is full of glee,

Help me to remember Thee,

Happy most of all to know,

That my Father loves me so.

~~*John Hopps*~~

More Unanswered Questions and Waiting

Right now my heart is in turmoil. I have so many unanswered questions, so many choices, so many decisions, so many options, so many emotions. Sometimes I think I know what I want but most of the time I have no idea. The hardest place right now is knowing what I want but not being able to go after it. The pain from that is staggering. At the moment I have no choice in this matter, I have to wait for God to move, and I've been waiting for years, and sometimes I wonder how much longer I must wait. Yet, even though it's hard, I must trust and wait on the Lord. Driving home from Ohio last night I listened to this song over and over for almost two hours. I must keep moving, even though I am waiting.

Heaven Needed Him More

Today is the birthday of my dear friend, Aaron Williams. He would be 39. However, God chose to take him away from us 5 1/2 years ago. He was a Marine. And the most awesome, Marine in the world. Ah, how I miss him. God chose to take him Home, not through war, but through a brain tumor, giving us time to say "good-bye." The six months that the doctor gave him stretched into three years, and for those three years we watched as Aaron struggled through multiple surgeries, chemo, alternative medicine, and finally he came home to die. We knew that each moment could be our last with him, and so we cherished each day and memory. I will never forget holding his hand the night before he went to Heaven. Standing at his beside, tears rolling down my cheeks as I told him how much I loved him and how he would always be my favorite jar head. I realized that would probably be the last time I would see him alive on this earth, it was.

Dealing with the death of a loved one is hard. It's been 5 1/2 years and I still remember his birthday, and wish I could call him up just to say hello. He was one of the finest men God ever made, and his memory lives on in the hearts of those who were privileged to know and love Aaron. Heaven needed a hero so God took ours, leaving us behind to mourn our loss. However, we know that our parting is but for a moment, and soon, we will see him again in Heaven.

As the Deer

As the deer panteth for the water

So my soul longeth after Thee,

You alone are my heart's desire

And I long to worship Thee.

Chorus:

You alone are my strength and shield,

To You alone may my spirit yield,

You alone are my heart's desire

And I long to worship Thee.

You're my friend and You are my brother,

Even though You are the King,

I love You more than any other

So much more than anything.

I want You more than gold or silver,

Only You can satisfy,

You alone are the real joy giver

And the apple of my eye.

Thankful for...

I had a long thanksgiving post mostly written and was going to finish it tonight, but I deleted it. This year I can say I am most thankful for pain and heartache. Yeah, I know, that's not "normal" but it's true. The pain, heartache, loss, struggles, decisions, tears, sleepless nights, all of it, I am thankful. Why? Because through it all I learned that God truly gives a song in the night. He gives peace, love, guidance, direction, mercy, grace, strength, healing, comfort, protection, and on the list could go. He is almighty, unchangeable, God. In His loving plan He brought the hard times to my life to grow, stretch and strengthen me. His blessings do often "come through raindrops."

Closed Door

"When one door closes another door opens;

but we so often look so long and so regretfully at the closed door

that we do not see the ones which open for us."

~~*Alexander Graham Bell*~~

Mourdock Monday!

Once again, it's my favorite day of the week, MOURDOCK MONDAY! Check out his ad that came out recently!

Do not be Afraid of Their Faces

To say that what I believe isn't always popular is an understatement. And the last day or two have been difficult in that people want to crush what I believe and make me believe the way they do. I don't like that. Some have called me young and naive (I call them old and dumb, just I'm polite and don't say it to their face like they do to me). Unlike them, I have a fresh perspective on life. I'm not afraid to take a risk. I'll stick my neck out to go with the unpopular vote over the popular vote any day. Besides, their generation taught me that what is popular isn't always right, yet instead of practicing what they preach, they jump on me for following orders. (Yes, I am ranting, but I promise it's not going to last too long). If you haven't guessed, it has to do with politics (something I love and hate at the same time).

So needless to say, I've been struggling. Big. Time. This morning God reminded me that my hope is in Him, not in an earthly cause or person. "Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God." (Psalm 43:5 NKJV) Ah, what sweet comfort. He saved me from a pit of despair, why do I keep going back into it willingly? Silly me. But still, frustration held on to me just a tiny bit. Fact: I am young. Fact: I don't have a lot of experience. So who am I to go against these people who supposedly know a lot more than me. But God, in His loving way once again led me to a beautiful passage in Jeremiah. The great prophet is at this time young, and like me, feels inadequate. Listen to the exchange:

God: Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you; before you were born I sanctified you; I ordained you a prophet to the nations.

Jeremiah (I can imaging he's trembling a little bit and says in a shaky voice): "Ah, Lord God! Behold, I cannot speak, for I am a youth!"

There! He said it! He can't do it! Duh! He's too young! C'mon God! What are You thinking? 

But alas, God replies: Do not say, 'I am a youth,' for you shall go to all to whom I send you, and whatever I command you, you shall speak. Do not be afraid of their faces, for I am with you to deliver you.

Well, who can argue with that? Not Jeremiah, and definitely not me. God's calling isn't always easy, but He gives us what we need. He is with us and will deliver us.

Veterans Day

Thank you to the men and women who have served and are serving our country!

The "180" Movie

This is life changing! A must see for everyone, especially high school and college students!

The Sky is NOT the Limit

Recently I was texting a friend who is just as politically interested as I am, he lives in California. We were joking back and forth about when we are the governors of our respective states and the changes we'd make. And of course we went on to dream about being the President, Vice President, etc. It was good, innocent fun. All of a sudden this thought hit me, "Seriously, I'm so excited about the future and so glad God placed me in this country...the sky is literally the limit. And even then, there is always space exploration. It's awesome."

This country was based on a principle very similar to that. Our own Declaration of Independence declares, "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuite of Happiness." Those words are some of the most famous in the United States, yet many don't truly believe them. Some have been conned into thinking that their station in life, their job, their current circumstances are all that they are ever going to have. They think that they can't do better. And in some countries that is true.

Not in America.

Here we are given the opportunity to become whatever we dream, no matter what our background is, how wealthy our family was, or how young or old we are. I may be young, but I have the ability to become a Congresswoman or Senator, Governor, Secretary of Defense, Ambassador, and yes, eventually even the President of the United States. If politics wasn't my forte, I could become a brain surgeon, geologist, pilot, small business owner...whatever I wanted. America is truly the land of opportunity. There is no such thing as being too ambitious here.

Life here isn't perfect. It has it's ups and downs. There are people who will try to discourage you from achieving and reaching for your dreams. But don't give up. As long as we are a free country, America will continue to be a beacon to the world of freedom and opportunity. Remember, the sky is literally the limit, and if you want to go further, try space exploration.

Attributes of God

Almost two months ago a friend suggested that we do a little Bible study together. What we do is daily as part of our time with God we look for an attribute of God and text the verse and any thoughts we have on it to each other. It has been a wonderful time of learning about who God really is. I though I knew Him, but I have found that there is so much more to Him than I could ever imagine. The following are some of my favorites.
(All Scriptures are taken from the English Standard Version unless otherwise noted)

• God is Our Sustainer. Psalm 3:5, "I lay down and slept; I awoke again, for the Lord sustained me."
• God is a Stronghold. Psalm 9:9, "The Lord is a stronghold for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble."
• God is My Portion. Psalm 119:57, "The Lord is my portion; I promise to keep your words."
• He is the God of the Living. Matthew 22:32b, "...He is not a God of the dead, but of the living."
• God has Steadfast Love. Psalm 52:2, "...the steadfast love of God endures all day."
• Jesus is the Same. Hebrews 13:8, "Jesus Christ the same yesterday, today, and forever."
• He is My God. Deuteronomy 10:21, "He is your praise. He is your God, who has done for you these great and terrifying things that your eyes have seen." (This is my personal favorite)
• God Calls Us. Romans 11:29 (NKJV), "For the gifts and calling of God are irrevocable."
• God Rescues Us. Psalm 18:16-17 (NIV), "He reached down from on high and took hold of me; he drew me out of deep waters. He rescued me from my powerful enemy, from my foes, who were too strong for me."
• God is Patient. II Peter 3:9, "The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance."
• The Lord knows the Way I Take. Job 23:10 (NKJV), "But He knows the way that I take; when He has tested me, I shall come forth as gold."
• God is Unique. Job 23:13 (NKJV), "But He is unique, and who can make Him change? And whatever His soul desires, that He does."
• God will be Our Rear Guard. Isaiah 52:12, "For you shall not go out in haste, and you shall not go in flight, for the Lord will go before you, and the God of Israel will be your rear guard."
• The Lord Loves Justice. Psalm 37:28, "For the Lord loves justice; he will not forsake his saints."
• The Lord is Slow to Anger. Psalm 103:8, "The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love."
• God Hears the Brokenhearted. Psalm 147:3, "He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds."
• The Lord Called Me from the Womb. Isaiah 49:1, "Listen to me, O coast lands, and give attention, you peoples from afar. The Lord called me from the womb, from the body of my mother he named my name."
• My Redeemer Lives. Job 19:25, "For I know that my Redeemer lives, and at the last he will stand upon the earth."
• God's Greatness is More than can be Told. Psalm 40:5, "You have multiplied, O Lord my God, your wondrous deeds and your thoughts toward us; none can compare with You! I will proclaim and tell of them, yet they are more than can be told."
• God is Beautiful. Psalm 27:4, "One thing have I asked of the Lord, that will I seek after: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to inquire in His temple."
• The Lord Heals Backsliding. Hosea 14:4 (NKJV), "I will heal their backsliding, I will love them freely."
• God Supplies. Philippians 4:19, "And my God will supply every need of yours according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus."

Through Indiana

I started a new blog! It's called "Through Indiana" and is meant to show fellow Hoosiers and others around the country and world the beauty of my great state! Click here to see it and follow it.

From the Rear

Frederick Douglass Quote

"The honor of a nation is an important thing. It is said in the Scriptures,

 'What doth it profit a man if he gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?'

It may be said, also,

 'What doth it profit a nation if it gain the whole world, but lose its honor?'"

Tough Decision

Have you ever been given a choice between two good things? Either way you go won't be bad, but trying to figure out which direction is the best is the hardest thing you've ever done. Perhaps you have people pulling and pushing you in both directions and the chaos in your own brain is almost more than you can handle. Weighing the options, wanting to go both ways, struggling with not being able to please everybody, praying for God's will but getting no clear direction, living in uncertainty, hoping for the best, tired of fighting.

For the past month what I just described has been my life. The toughest decision I've ever made was in front of me and I had no idea what to do. During that month the confusion was overwhelming and the constant battle in my heart was staggering. Either choice would have been good, but both decisions would have made some happy and others unhappy. So often I wanted to turn to someone else to give me the answer, I didn't want to have to do this on my own. But I had to and I did.

By now you're probably wondering what this decision was. Let me explain, towards the end of September I was really struggling. My life had seemed to come to a stop and I wasn't sure why or where I was supposed to go or do next. I felt useless. Little did I know that God was using this in my life to teach me some lessons.
After a long talk with my parents late one night I realized that I definitely needed to go back to school. Out of the blue my mom mentioned going to Northland International University in WI. I was rather taken aback but the sudden suggestion but I decided to look into it. Plans were made and I went to visit for a few days. I loved it. The students were focused on God, the faculty were friendly, the campus was beautiful, the classes were "mind stretching," and the church I visited was awesome. Everything inside of me screamed to go back in January.

Then I came back home to reality. I considered everything that I would be leaving behind, especially the Mourdock campaign. My heart yearned to stay and continue the fight for this race and really, for this country. The conflict that was raging inside of me between the two "goods" was gut wrenching. I spent many hours praying, begging God for an answer. Over the course of the month I went back and forth between Wisconsin and Indiana. One minute I'd be going, the next I'd be staying. It was the most frustrating month of my life.

I had determined that if I was to go to Wisconsin two things had to transpire. One, I would be able to finish my four year degree in two years. Also, I had to hear back from the registrar at NIU by Friday at 7 pm. Neither happened. I know that was God's sign to me to stay. Was it difficult? Yes. But am I okay with the outcome? Yes. This is where I am needed, this is where God wants me.

All of this being said, I'm not giving up on my education. I am planning on going to school online starting in January. Right now I think I am going to get an undergraduate certificate in public administration (it should only take me a semester to finish) and then next Fall I will either start a communications degree or continue in the public administration program. I'll cross that bridge when I get there.

One of my biggest struggles this month was making sure that the decision I made wasn't just because that is what I wanted, I wanted it to be what GOD wanted. One passage in the Bible that really stood out to me was Matthew 10, the following are a few excerpts from it:

"Behold, I send you out as sheep in the midst of wolves. Therefore be wise as serpents and harmless as doves. But beware of men, for they will deliver you up to councils and scourge you in their synagogues. You will be brought before governors and kings for My sake, as a testimony to them and to the Gentiles. But when they deliver you up, do not worry about how or what you should speak. For it will be given to you in that hour what you should speak.

And do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. But rather fear Him who is able to destroy both soul and body in hell.

Therefore whoever confesses Me before men, him I will also confess before My Father who is in heaven. But whoever denies Me before men, him I will also deny before My Father who is in heaven.

And he who does not take his cross and follow after Me is not worthy of Me.

He who finds his life will lose it, and he who loses his life for My sake will find it."

From My Cold, Dead Hands!

Best five words ever.

Moments that Take Your Breath Away

Life's not the breaths you take,

The breathing in and out

That gets you through the day.

You just might miss the point

Trying to win the race.

Life's not the breaths you take

But the moments that take your breath away.

{George Strait}

When most people think of this song they think sweet romantic thoughts of their significant other. They get this far away dreamy look and it's not hard to figure out what they're thinking. 

Not me.

When I think of this song I think of politics. Weird, I know. But really, in the past six months I've experienced many of those breath-taking moments while working on the Mourdock for U.S. Senate campaign.

For example, the time a dear, sweet old lady thanked me for being politically active because, "Most young people your age don't care about our country."

Or when I first met Richard Mourdock.

When I had the opportunity to do six parades on July 4th weekend.

At a meet and greet in Ft. Wayne Richard called me his "campaign hero" to the entire crowd. Definitely a breath taking moment.

On my 21st birthday, throwing out the honorary first pitch at a TinCaps game proudly wearing a Mourdock t-shirt and later that evening he called me to wish me a happy birthday.

Sitting through many of Mourdock's speeches, listening to him move the crowds with his passion for what he believes is right. Watching him tear up at certain parts as he talks about things that are near and dear to his heart.

Having the opportunity to tell others about a candidate I not only think is good, but a candidate I firmly believe in and actually trust. The best part is swaying them to vote for Mourdock in May.

Driving Richard's truck in parades.

Being the first "Super Volunteer."

The best one -- standing in a circle with several others on the campaign, holding hands and praying.

The list could go on and on.

My Finest Hour

Since April and really my entire life I have spent countless hours volunteering for various organizations, churches, politicians and on the list could go. I've done things from entering data to collecting signatures, making phone calls to working in a nursery, and scheduling appointments to walking in parades. However, tonight I did something that I will never forget as long as I live: I stood in front of Planned Parenthood for just one hour holding a sign that read, "Pray to End Abortion."

It's called "40 Days of Life." It's a pro-life movement. It's fighting for the lives of unborn babies. It's a cause that is paramount to every other cause. Standing on the street corner in pouring rain I felt as if it was my finest hour and the only thing I could wish was that this was not my first time but my 10th or 20th. Cars rolled by me, some honking, others waving, some not doing anything but smile, some looking the other way. Yet I felt deep in my soul that this was something worth standing for an entire day in the rain. Why? Because for once I was doing something that could effect a life, or rather two or three lives, or possibly an infinite amount of lives immediately.

There were two particular incidents in this hour that stand out in my mind. The first was a man who turned his truck around and drove back by us; rolling his window down he simply stated, "Thank you for doing this." I was surprised because I really wasn't doing anything that thousands of other people had done for years before me, yet he was thanking unworthy me. About halfway through our shift another man brought us hot chocolate from the gas station across the street, thanking us for standing in the rain and supporting the lives of unborn babies. Again, a not expected or deserved blessing.

Overall, my short experience holding a sign in front of Planned Parenthood was rewarding, humbling, and a wake-up call. I realized that fighting for a tiny unborn baby is a cause worthy of a life long dedication on my part. As Horton says, "A person's a person no matter how small." That tiny, unborn life is worth everything, for in it is the future.

Problems

Sorry everyone for the constant changing of my blog -- I'm having issues with it. Hopefully it will be back to normal soon!

The Greatest Generation

An Honor

Today I was honored to be the "Super Volunteer" of the month for Richard Mourdock. It was announced in an email and linked to a blog! I'm so thankful that I have the opportunity to work on his campaign. He's a great, humble, honest candidate, strong conservative both socially and fiscally, has been endorsed by many conservative groups including, Hoosiers for a Conservative Senate, Mark Levine, Gun Owners of America, Herman Cain, and the Tea Party Express. If you want to read the whole article click here.

He Knows the Way I Take

"But He knows the way that I take; when He has tested me, I shall come forth as gold."

~~*Job 23:10*~~

When I read this I was overwhelmed by God. He not only knows the next step that I am going to take, He knows my whole path. He knows each hill and each valley; each twist and each turn. Each pothole and each bump. He knows each potential hazard that can trip me up and each flower along the wayside to brighten my journey. He knows it all because His loving hand created it uniquely for me.

Sit back for a second and reminisce on how crazy your life has been in the past year, five years, decade, or even your whole life. Think about all the times you didn't think you could carry on one more minute. The times that life seemed so bleak and dismal that you thought for sure the clouds would never pass and the sun was no longer in existence. Amazingly, you did make it through, the sun did shine again, and your path once again became flat and much easier. So often I find myself in the depths of despair, wondering if my path will ever again gain the same altitude that it once had. I feel lost in despair and cry out, "GOD WHERE ARE YOU?!" How foolish of me. God is there. He created this specific detour in my path so that I would learn to trust His guidance once again. He did it so that I would, "come forth as gold."

God loves each one of us, and He will never give us more than we can handle. Yes, He pushes us, and yes, He stretches us, but He never destroys us. If we break because of pressure it is our own doing, not His. When our loving Father created the trials of our lives, He created them so we could learn to trust His leading, trust His path, trust His trials, and yes, trust His blessings. He longs for each of us to take Him at His Word and realize that He knows our path better than we do because He created it for us.

Voice of Truth - Casting Crowns

Oh,what I would do to have
the kind of faith it takes
To climb out of this boat I'm in
Onto the crashing waves
To step out of my comfort zone
Into the realm of the unknown
Where Jesus is,
And he's holding out his hand

But the waves are calling out my name
and they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times
I've tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me
time and time again
"Boy, you'll never win,

you'll never win

But the Voice of truth tells me a different story
the Voice of truth says "do not be afraid!"
and the Voice of truth says "this is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the Voice of truth

Oh, what I would do
to have the kind of strength it takes
To stand before a giant
with just a sling and a stone
Surrounded by the sound
of a thousand warriors
shaking in their armor
Wishing they'd have had the strength to stand

But the giant's calling out
my name and he laughs at me
Reminding me of all the times
I've tried before and failed
The giant keeps on telling me
time and time again
"Boy, you'll never win,
you'll never win."

But the Voice of truth tells me a different story
the Voice of truth says "do not be afraid!"
and the Voice of truth says "this is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the Voice of truth

But the stone was just the right size
to put the giant on the ground
and the waves they don't seem so high
from on top of them looking down
I will soar with the wings of eagles
when I stop and listen to the sound of Jesus
singing over me

But the Voice of truth tells me a different story
The Voice of truth says "do not be afraid!"
And the Voice of truth says "this is for my glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me (calling out to me)
I will choose to listen and believe (I will choose to listen and believe)
I will choose to listen and believe the Voice of truth

I will listen and believe
I will listen and believe the Voice of truth
I will listen and believe
'Cause Jesus you are the Voice of truth
And I will listen to you.. oh you are the Voice of truth

On the Moon and God's Timing

Last night I went to a truck pull with a good friend of mine. Being girls, we didn't just sit and watch the trucks (although we did a lot of that), we also talked quite a bit --we always do when we're together. We discussed life and how difficult it is to see the big picture. We both know that God is in control, and we are both happy waiting on Him, yet sometimes that wait is so hard to bear. We know if we trust God and delight in Him, He will give us the desires of our hearts, yet still, our hearts long for certain things for which God has not yet given the "ok."

Towards the end of the night I looked up at the moon. It was a beautiful, bright harvest moon, although not full. (After I got home I looked it up and it is a waning gibbous.) The moon is not always beautiful and bright, sometimes it's hidden by clouds. Other times it's not as full as we would like it to be, but eventually that phase comes and it is something amazing to behold. A new moon doesn't even appear to be in existence, but still it is, we just have to wait. No matter what, the sun is still behind the moon and it is shining, even in the moon's darkest hours.

Life is so much like the moon. We go through phases of fullness and completeness, only to be hit by a phase of slow waning and then darkness. At times it seems like things should be going well, but the clouds of doubt and despair move in and cover our joy. Yet through it all God's Son is shining behind and through us, longing for us to allow Him to make us into something more beautiful than we could ever imagine. He always sees us as a full moon, because He knows the path that we are going to be taking. We simply have to trust Him. Every one of us has the potential to reach the full moon phase when Jesus is shining through us.

"Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever...to him who made the great lights...the moon and stars to rule over the night, for his steadfast love endures forever." {Psalm 136:1,7a,9}

September 11, 2001

"America was targeted because we are the brightest beacon for freedom and opportunity in the world. I ask for your prayers for all those who grieve. I pray they will be comforted by a power greater than any of us spoken in Psalm 23, 'Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil." ~President George W. Bush, September 13, 2001

September 11, 2001

America Remembers

Keep a Watch

“Set a watch, O Jehovah, before my mouth; keep the door of my lips. Incline not my heart to any evil thing, to practice deeds of wickedness with men that work iniquity; and let me not eat of their dainties.”

~Psalms 141:3-4 (ASV)

My current job is working full-time at a dry cleaner as the customer service attendant. I enjoy working with the customers and meeting all sorts of people. For the most part I also enjoy working with my co-workers. Only, there are a few problems, the biggest is that they all have a very “French” vocabulary, if you know what I mean. They are constantly using cuss words even in their regular conversations, not to mention when they get angry which is quite often. It is very difficult in that environment to keep that language from slipping into my thoughts and worse, my own speaking. I find myself getting angry and words pop into my mind that I know shouldn’t be there, thankfully they’ve only slipped out once, and even then I was horrified.

I was trying and trying to come up with a verse or something that would help me to get rid of the thoughts swirling in my mind. The anger, the frustration, the words, the disgracing of my dear Savior’s name, I was tired of it. I was praying but that didn’t seem to be helping much, I needed a reminder. Then, out of the blue Psalm 141:3 popped into my head. Thankful for a bit of relief I quickly found the passage and read the whole Psalm, discovering that the entire chapter was exactly what I needed for my situation. Verse four seemed to fit so well, and I have decided to put that to memory as well. Keep a watch dear Father, keep a watch is now my constant prayer.

I know I am not the first, nor am I the only person to work with people like that, sadly, it’s the way out culture is today. Most don’t think twice about using some words and they are very destructive to a Christian’s thought life. This is just one area in which the world tries to penetrate our minds and souls. There are so many other things out there that can ruin our walk with Jesus Christ. Keeping a watch over our thoughts and words is a mere beginning of keeping our lives pure and clean before God.

21st Birthdayeve

Every year on the night before my birthday I reminisce over the past year, the highs and lows, the laughter the tears, the pain and the joy, the good and the bad. Each year I want to say is in it's own way is worse than any other previous year, however, I now realize that each year has it's own unique set of trials and triumphs. With each opportunity I'm given I am also given a choice of how I am going to react to it. Am I going to get mad and angry or am I going to allow it to stretch and grow me?

The first three months of my twenty-first year were full of excitement, I started my junior year of college at Shawnee Baptist, I went to Tennessee with my best friend, I was promoted to a management position at LEE's and overall life was good. Did I mention that we had a lice scare in my dorm? That was pretty exciting. I was getting good grades, having the time of my life, and pretty much didn't really seem to be taking much of anything seriously.

Christmas break of 2012 changed my life drastically. I had planned to stay at school for most of the break so I could work. I took a couple of days off before and the day after Christmas because Mom was supposed to have a hysterectomy. I should have known things were going to be bad from about 5 miles down the road on my way home...yep, I was pulled over with my first official speeding ticket (no comments mom, dad or Jason :P). I arrived at the hospital about an hour before mom went in to the OR. We talked for a few minutes and prayed and then we waited. And waited. And waited. When the surgeon finally came out he told us that things had been a little messier than originally planned but Mom should be fine. To make a very long story short, Mom ended up not being fine. She was supposed to be in the hospital only a couple of days, but ended up being in for 10 due to some major complications. I quit my job and school and moved back home to help out. That took up the last half of December, all of January and into February.

February my dad had surgery on his knee. He also ended up with complications which landed us in the ER at the same time a lifelong friend was having a fatal heart attack just a few doors down from where we were! It was the beginning of a lesson that I'm not sure I've totally learned yet: You don't know when it will be your time to go...so make sure you are making your life count for something. Don't just sit idly by, get up and make a difference.

March brought about more loss and more wake up calls to live life to the fullest. Time after time it seemed that problems were thrown in my path and I had the choice of allowing them to pull me down or learning from them and growing. Learning that no matter what, God is in control and who am I to question His sovereignty?

April was perhaps where I was tested the most. On the 19th we were informed that my dear cousin Greg was missing with a friend in the Grand Tetons of Wyoming. Many of you probably remember reading everything that I posted about the search for them. It was horrific and terrifying and most of all, gut wrentchingly sad. Quite easily the longest week I can remember. The search seemed to be going on and on and on with no hints whatsoever of the whereabouts of Greg and Walker. It was a week of tears and prayers. Begging God to bring them back to us. But alas! it was not God's plan for on Easter Sunday the bodies of the two men were found buried beneath an avalanche. It was a freak of nature, something that should never have happened, but it did. Only God knows why.

May is when things started really looking up. I started getting involved in the Richard Mourdock for US Senate campaign and enjoy it very much. From Lincoln Day Dinners to parades, fair booths to Tea Party meetings I've learned a lot and have enjoyed myself very much.

If there was one lesson that I've learned more than any other this year I would say that it is that God is God and I am not. He is the One in control and He leads us each step of the way. When I rest in Him I fear no evil, but when I take things into my own hands I mess it up. Trusting Jesus, that is all. The other big lesson is to not let life pass me by. Don't be afraid to dream, dare to explore, make each second count.

Your Fault

A pastor complained to a higher up in his denomination about having sixteen doors that needed to be locked and unlocked each day. The man responded, "Don't complain to me, YOU built the church."

How often is it that we complain to God about our circumstances, moaning and groaning that we have all this extra stuff that is a result of what we've done. I'm sure God wants to say, "Hey dummy! You're the one who made the problem, don't blame it on Me!"

I'm Crying for Me

This year seems to be a "year of death." So many loved friends and family have passed on to eternity. Some were "expected" others were quite sudden and tragic. Often when I cry at a funeral I can't really explain the feeling I have inside of me. It's a feeling of awful heartache and utter sadness, but not for them, it is for me. Each time that I lose a friend I'm losing a part of me. There is a new hole ripped into my heart, over time it will become a scar but will always be there. Last night I was talking to a friend about all of this and I said, "I'm hurting for me." To which she responded with the line of this song, "I'm not crying cause I feel sorry for you, I'm crying for me."

Don't Take it for Granted

I am sure that by now most of you have heard of the tragic deaths resulting from the collapse of the stage for the Sugarland concert at the Indiana State Fair. Perhaps you have seen the video, or read the articles, or seen the pictures of the aftermath of that sudden, awful twist of nature. For those in it's path there was no advance warning, no time to do anything but watch their lives drastically change, and for some it was the end.

As I watched and re-watched, and re-watched the footage of the collapse there was but one thought that ran through my head, "That could have been anyone, including me." Those people didn't have time to go back and make their wrongs right, or to say "good-bye" to their loved ones. There was no opportunity for them to get things settled with God, that was their time, their last breath, their final call.

Often I find that it is easy for me to take life for granted. I just blow through it without a care or thought, not worrying about the consequences that it will have on my life or on others. I leave things undone or unkind words and actions left unforgiven. It is very easy to forget that eternity is only a heartbeat away. In the matter of a second I could be on the other side of life and never have the chance to forgive, ask forgiveness, finish what I started, or simply say, "I love you." We never know when our number will be called, make sure that your account is settled in Heaven. God desires for all to become His children, He wants us to have a home with Him when it is our time, but the only way for that to happen is for each one of us to personally admit our sins, realize we are in need of Savior, and to accept God's Son, Jesus into our hearts and ask Him to wash away our sins. Only then will any of us truly be prepared for eternity.

Major Changes...Again

It seems my life never, ever likes to sit still for long. Or perhaps it's me that can't sit still. I don't know. It seems I'm never content with the current level of my life, I want something more, something better all the time. I'm not content to sit idle when there is so much more to learn and do. A good thing? I hope so. This leads me to the current changes. I think they are what God wants for me and they are definitely for the better. They will bring with them a lot of hard work and effort, they will stretch me, making me into someone better than I am. This is what I want out of my whole life, to be constantly stretched into a better person, but more importantly, I want to be stretched to be a better Christian so I can serve my God in a more meaningful fashion.

The first change is my job! Yep, I'm leaving the bank. This is a shock to a lot of people, but it is something I've been considering for a very long time; I was just waiting for the right opportunity to come my way. This presented itself in a job offer from a dry cleaner. I know, you're probably thinking, "Changing from a bank job to a dry cleaner is a better thing?!" It is. I was starting to go nuts sitting in an office all day, I need to be with people. I love to meet new people, get to know the "regulars" and make the new customers feel welcome. It's what makes me "tick." God gave each of us different personalities that require different stimuli, mine include people. (Have I gotten my point across yet?)

On to the next change: school. I know I had posted earlier that I was going to be attending Baptist College of America, but I honestly didn't have a peace about it. I couldn't focus on the classes and I just felt like I was drifting off course. I didn't really know what to do so I prayed about it. I really like this politics thing and I've wanted to be in it for a very long time. So, I'm quitting the whole "Christian college" thing and switching to Thomas Edison State College and a degree in History. So yeah...it'll be a little while until I finish, but I'm ok with that. I don't have anything I have to do so I'll just enjoy my time, enjoy life a little bit (although I have a feeling all I'll be doing is work and school), and see what else God has in store for me.

It seems my life is in constant upheaval, if it's not one thing, it is definitely another. I'm so glad to know that I have a Heavenly Father who cares for me and has everything perfectly figured out. In His time all things will come together, all I need do is take each step in faith, trusting Him alone.

God Answers Prayers

For the past several years I have been very burdened for my friend Ray who is in the Army. He was unsaved and quite content that way. He's had some very close calls during his three deployments (he is still in his third). In June he was home on leave and we spent quite a bit of time together. During that time I was able to talk to him a little bit about God and my dad also talked to him some this year and a year ago when he was home.

Last night I chatted with him for the first time in well over a month. He was recently moved to another base and was without access to a computer for a long while. During our chat he told me that he had become very close friends with the assistant chaplain and they had a lot of really good talks. We then proceeded to have a discussion about having a religion versus having a personal, intimate relationship with Jesus Christ. In the course of this conversation he told me that he had admitted that he was a sinner in need of a Savior and had accepted Christ as his personal Savior! I was floored. A rush of about a thousand emotions ran through me, at first a little bit of apprehension and disbelief, then the realization that this was actually happening, he had really become a believer. Years of praying and begging God to save him had payed off and Ray is now a fellow Christian.

As I considered all of this, my thoughts kept going to a phrase I use quite often, "Oh me of little faith!" How I had despaired of this day ever coming. I thought that God had probably just written him off, but how wrong I was! I am so thankful for a prayer hearing and answering God. A God who loves the whole world and is not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance. A God who loves each one of us individually, and cares about us and our burdens. Praise the Lord!

Mourdock for U.S. Senate 2012

So in case any of you have been wondering why my posts have been so scarce lately it would be because I've been crazy busy volunteering for a U.S. Senate campaign.

Richard Mourdock is running in the Republican primaries in May 2012 against 6 term incumbent, Dick Lugar. Our current Senator is now 80 and has become quite the career politician, not to mention extremely liberal, and is no longer sensitive to his constituents. In fact, he doesn't even live in Indiana anymore and he rarely comes back home to visit! On the other hand, Richard Mourdock (currently our state treasurer) is a fiscal conservative (Indiana is one of the few states that has a budget surplus), a social conservative, and in general an all around good guy. He's pro-life, pro-family, pro-tax CUTS, pro-term limits (and has practiced this in previous political offices that he's held), and on the list could go. While on the flip side, Dick Lugar has been called President Obama's "favorite Republican" even appearing on a TV add for him in the 2008 Presidential election! In fact, Obama himself has referred to Lugar as a "mentor." Richard Mourdock has done a great job in previous offices and I'm sure he will do a good job as a Senator! Below are some pictures from the campaign.

~~*Richard Mourdock*~~

~~*St. Joseph County Lincoln Day Dinner*~~

~~*Grant County Fair*~~

~~*Salamonie Festival Parade*~~

~~*Richard handing out pencils*~~

~~*I got to drive the truck...such fun*~~

~~*With Richard*~~

~~*Flotilla*~~

~~*Somehow I skipped some parades...but this one is from Kosciusko County*~~

~~*This is what happens when you've been on the campaign trail too long*~~

~~*Culver parade*~~

~~*Sometimes you've gotta take a break!*~~

~~*Elkhart County 4H Fair Parade*~~

~~*Elkhart County Fair Booth*~~

Even the Trials

"Have you thanked God for the life He's given you? Even the trials?"

~A Friend~

From friends and family to work and beyond life has been one twist after another lately. Things have been confusing, irritating, flat out wrong, full of people who are indecisive and careless. As a result my soul has been cast down and my spirit has been lacking the joy that is usually there. I've been troubled about many things and instead of relying on Christ as my Rock I found myself focusing instead on my circumstances and worrying about what I was going to do about them.

Last night I was texting a friend about something we were supposed to do today. I was not very optimistic about the outcome and finally told him, "I'm just tired of my life in general and this is yet another problem at the moment." To which he responded with the quote above, "Have you thanked God for the life He's given you? Even the trials?" It was as if God were saying, "Hey girl, quit your whining and complaining, I'm getting tired of it! You need to focus on Me instead of you, and you need to find that there are things in life to be thankful for, even in the worst of times." I felt as though I were a three year old and had been caught getting into something I shouldn't have and been thoroughly spanked. I'd been so busy focusing on circumstances rather than on God. All the problems that I was having were only made worse by the attitude I'd had towards them.

This morning I went to the book of James and read, "My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials. Knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing." (James 1:2-4) Patience, what an awful word. According to the Merriam-Webster's dictionary patience is "the ability to remain calm and not become annoyed when dealing with problems or with difficult people." So that was pretty much a second spanking. Obviously I failed miserably in this area over and over again. However, there is hope to the passage in James, the very next verse says, "If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given him." (James 1:5) Also according to the Merriam-Webster dictionary the word wisdom is defined as, "good sense." So putting that word into the verse it would read something like this: "If any of you lacks good sense, let him ask of God..." So here I am, realizing that I'm handling all of these situations completely wrong, and I have no idea how to handle them. Yet the Bible clearly states that trials bring about patience, but if we don't know how to bear the trials all we have to do is ask God and He will give us the knowledge we need to deal with them.

God doesn't want His children focused on their circumstances. He wants them to focus on Him. Praise Him. Thank Him. Live for Him. He desires for us to be so dependent on Him that we automatically hand over our struggles to Him. He alone has the answers, nothing is up to us. Only when we thank God for the life He has given us can we then appreciate all that He has done for us. This is a lesson I am sure I will be learning over and over again, but God is gracious and long-suffering and He will always welcome us back to fellowship with Him.

Pastor Ole and Pastor Sven

Ole is the pastor of the local Norwegian Lutheran Church and Pastor Sven is the minister of the Swedish Covenant Church across the road.

One day they are seen pounding a sign into the ground, which said:

DA END ISS NEAR!
TURN YERSELF AROUNT NOW
BAFOR IT ISS TOO LATE!

As a car speeds past them, the driver leans out his window and yells, "Leave people alone, you Skandihoovian religious nuts!"

From the curve they heard screeching tires and a big splash.

Shakin' his head, Rev. Ole says "Dat's da terd one dis mornin'."

"Yaa," Pastor Sven agrees, then asks, "Do ya tink maybe da sign should yust say, 'Bridge Out?'"

Journaling

Have you ever had a time that you have so much on your mind, but yet you don't have any way to communicate it to people? I used to keep everything deep down inside of me, but lately I have found a wonderful way to let it all out, that is through journaling. In my journal I write all of my deepest thoughts, prayers, and dreams. I write things that I'll probably never tell another soul, yet if I were to hold them deep inside I would be incredibly moody and angry. It's a good way to unwind at the end of the day, releasing all of the pent up emotions that constantly flood our lives.

Cut, Cap and Balance Act

As a college student I'm asking Senators Lugar and Coats (from Indiana) as well as other members of the U.S. Senate to PLEASE vote for “Cut, Cap and Balance” because this will effect my entire life as a working adult, and my future family and children, as well as the lives of countless other young Americans. You hold the future of America in your hands…DON'T MESS THIS UP!

Quote

"You never know how far you can go

until you have to

RUN."

~Penny Chenery~

--Secretariat--

Struggles

This year has been one of many ups and downs. Frankly, from a human perspective it has been one of the worst years of my life. Things simply have not gone well at all. The beginning of the year outwardly was the hardest with so many things happening to my family that it appears terrible. And it was in one sense, however, when it comes to Spirituality, it was the closest, most sweet time I have ever had with my Lord. I was at a point in life that I had to fully rely on God to get me through each day. I drew close to Him as I spent much time in His Word and on my knees in prayer. Every new day brought more pain and anguish, and each day I learned more and more how much I needed my Savior by my side. It was a time of sweet fellowship with God, and great learning of God. I learned to have sweet peace even in the midst of great adversity. I felt the peace that passes all understanding (Philippians 4:7) and I felt a true sense of joy that went through my entire being.

Recently, on the outside life has calmed down. It has been quite some time since an "emergency" has struck my life. It would seem like right now I would be using this time to discover more about the greatness of God. I hate to admit it, but this time right now I find it more difficult to focus on God than I have in a very long time. Now, instead of outward, visible struggles, I have deep, inward struggles. Although not evident, these seem to be worse than the outward hard times. Rather than depending on God, and trusting Him to see me through, I catch myself trying to work everything out on my own. Doing this causes me to lose focus on the important things of life, and instead concentrate on the parts of life that I have no control over. Rather than spending time reveling in the goodness of God, I find myself fighting Him over minute details that really don't matter in the end. I keep forgetting that God has plans for my life, and those plans are meant for good, not evil, plans of hope for the future. (Jeremiah 29:11).

I would greatly appreciate prayers as I try to refocus my life by truly depending on God and trusting Him for all of my needs.

Month of Weddings

This month alone I have attended three weddings of good friends of mine, and had several others that I could not be at! In two of those three weddings I played my cello and/or piano.

*~~Cody and Grace~~*

*~~Jon and Heather~~*

*~~Alex and Amanda~~*