Lately I've really been struggling with knowing what God has for me. I've been debating a million things in my mind, I've been wondering if what I was doing is what God wants for me or if I'm just doing what I want to do. WHY am I here. Is teaching really what God wants me to do or am I just rushing ahead of Him? I know at one point I thought that teaching was God's call, but it just seems like everything I've done so far hasn't been right, so maybe teaching isn't right either. I've learned that the worst place to be is outside of God's will, so I don't want to be in that boat once again. I was doing a lot of praying about it. Then the other day in church Pastor had us turn to a verse in Romans 10 and on that same page was the following verse that I had underlined and starred previously so it was hard to miss : "
For the gifts and calling of God are without repentance." (Romans 11:29) It was like, BAM! There was my answer. When I was in high school I knew that God had called me to teach, so why was I now questioning what God had called me to do? He wasn't going to take it back just because I had made some mistakes, He still has a plan for me. So I thought I would take a minute to share my calling with everyone because I don't think I have ever written it out.
I got saved when I was 15. Prior to my Salvation I had wanted to be a concert pianist. I had some pretty big dreams and goals. My parents knew all along that it wasn't what God wanted me to do, but at that time in my life I really didn't care, I wanted to be a pianist, no matter what. Soon after I got saved mom asked me if I had surrendered not only my heart, but also my plans to Christ. It was one of those "OUCH" moments. I really started thinking about that, I still had a huge desire to be a performer, but was that what God wanted for me, or did He have something better? Sometime that Spring, I really don't remember when or what the circumstances were, but I finally said, "Ok God, whatever You want for me, that's what I want to be." Throughout my life people had said that I would make a great teacher...mainly because I loved people, I've always been good at explaining things, and I've never had any problem getting up in front of people that I don't know (or do know) and talking. It was about this time that I had really started to enjoy both science and history. I began to lean more and more towards teaching. That year I had Mrs. Ericson as my Biology teacher, and I remember thinking, ''WOW! I want to be just like her someday!" She was and still is my hero in teaching. She impacted my life in so many ways that I don't think it's possible to write them all out.
Another reason I feel God has called me to teach is so that I can reach out and help teens who are just as lost and confused as I was before I got saved. Without giving my entire testimony (perhaps one day I will) I'll just say that I had grown up in a Christian home, made several professions of faith, but yet I never truly understood that Christ had died for ME. The other thing was that I had seen so much hypocrisy in church that I wanted nothing to do with it. This is probably the biggest reason for wanting to teach, I want to help teens see that God isn't that way at all, that He desires to have a real and living relationship with each and every person on an individual basis, and most importantly, He loves them beyond their wildest imaginations, and He wants to call them His child. I want them to see that no matter what may be in their past, that God still has a plan that He wants to implement in their lives.
"When a man finds the will of the Lord for his life, there always seems to be an evident relationship between talents, or gifts, or preparation the Lord has given him." ~Nate Saint